Well, here we are. I move into my dorm tomorrow. I can't believe that time is already here. I'm so nervous I don't think I'm going to be able to eat even though we are going to the Pancake House for breakfast...and that's really saying something. I really don't want to leave, and I feel like I'm not prepared at all...maybe that's because I'm not. I have been putting off packing and stuff for quite a while, and am now realizing that I will be up all night packing...which is fine, it's not like I would be able to sleep anyway. I have no idea how I'm going to handle all of this, I hope I handle it better when I'm there than I am right now. I'm also worried about my mom...I know she'll try to act like she's fine, but I know she won't be. I still don't know why I couldn't have just been content to stay at UWM and live at home. Stupid me...oh well, I guess there's no getting out of this now, so I might as well push forward and try to make it an awesome experience.

Well so far this has been a pretty good week. Went to countryfest last night...it was absolutely amazing, had a lot of fun at that. Went to the mall today with Linjin for lunch at Panera, had a good time doing that as well. Then came home and took out some frustrations by scouring the bathroom for an hour, tomorrow the kitchen will be my punching bag, haha. Mom comes home from Texas tomorrow, well I guess today now since it's after midnight. My Aunt's divorce is final, although I kinda have mixed feelings I'm overall glad that she's done with the scum bag that I used to call my uncle...I just hope he doesn't manage to screw anything else up. My computer is being a pain at the moment...I was burning pictures onto a CD and it decided that it didn't feel like recognizing the D drive tonight. I hate when things don't work. Well I think that's about it...nothing extremely exciting going on in the life of me at the moment. Oh but if you haven't seen I, Robot...well you should. I watched it for the millionth time tonight...I just absolutely love that movie.

It's been a really good weekend. Saturday I spent most of the day cleaning my room...not that anyone could tell by looking at it, as its still a disaster...but anyway, Lindy came over and we had yummy food and watched Stargate and chick flicks. It was great fun. Then today got up and went to church where singing songs from VBS ensued. It was actually pretty fun. I miss VBS :-(. Came home after church and slept, watched the race (poor Kasey :-( ), then headed to FourTwelve. I think we really accomplished stuff tonight. We have a track, we have goals, we pretty much know what we're doing. Even though Lindy got antsy and kept sticking tape on me, it was a good evening. I really think the group is headed in the right direction with the whole book study idea. I'm very excited about the coming months in the group. Baker Square was wonderful. Who doesn't want to end their weekends with straw blowing wars, great conversation, and insane amounts of laughter?

I'm still not feeling great about leaving for school, but this is something that I have to do. I will enjoy it, and it will be a good experience for me. I know that the result will be good, its just the getting there that's the hard part, but God will help me with that, he always does.

Hope everyone has a great week!

Well VBS is over. And I'm sad. It was a lot of fun and absolutely insane. I forgot how much fun little kids could be. Singing was a lot of fun, except now Lindy and I have been recruited to sing some of the kid songs in church on Sunday....with the motions...and yeah...that will be extremely embarrassing. But yeah overall VBS was an absolutely wonderful experience and I can't wait for next year. I'm still freaking out about school, but I'm too exhausted to really put too much thought into it right now.

Well I move in to college in about 3 weeks. I can't believe it's so soon. I really don't want to leave home, I know that probably sounds weird, and 19 year old who doesn't want to get away and be independent and blah blah blah...but I really really don't want to leave! If I hadn't been so miserable at UWM last year, then I would be there again this year and probably still living at home. I shouldn't be complaining, after all it was my decision to move away and to go to Trinity...I don't know anymore...what would have happened if I had stuck with my original plan of going to Carroll last year and majoring in theater? Is that really what I was supposed to do? Did I just royally screw up and totally not listen to what anyone was telling me and just do what I wanted, or at least what I thought I wanted? I hope going to Trinity is the right decision though. I hate having to leave home, and my friends, and my kitties :-(...and I know I'll still be home like every weekend and I still get to go to the same church and see my friends and everything, I just hope things won't change while I'm away...like how things get kinda awkward with people when you're not around as much as usual. I hope my parents will be okay. I'm their little girl...I'm their only kid...I'm worried about my mom. Why couldn't I have just been happy lost among the 25,000 faces of UWM students for the rest of college? It's cheaper, I have a few friends there, I got to live at home, it wasn't extremely hard...why couldn't I just be happy with that? Nooo I want to go to a smaller school thats extremely expensive where I know a grand total of 0 people. Okay well 1 person, I kinda know my roomate, who is a great girl and I am really excited for that....but how do I know Ill even be okay with living in the dorms? What if my only child instincts kick in and I get all snarky because there are people in my personal bubble? I'm too physically and mentally exhausted to think anymore...I give up. I just want to float around and not make anymore decisions and not have to care about anything.

Besides having all of that on my mind, VBS is going really well. It's a lot of fun to do. My mom is in Texas right now with my Aunt helping with stuff...causing me to freak out and have more ranom panic attacks when she tells me what's going on down there with that side of the family.